What is this?

This is a very long, open and public letter to Baby Bean McGyver, the little boy curently residing in my belly, to be evicted in December, likely during Christmas dinner.

I promise to back everything up in print to read to him during the sleepless nights. Oh, and in case you are wondering, the title did come from a horribly catchy Gwen Stefani song that is always stuck in my jukebox brain.

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. Thanks for stopping by!

Saturday, 29 June 2013

Marco Zero

Hey baby.

Today is Wednesday, April 17 2013, 1.30pm. Today  I went on a job interview at Columbus Coffee in Ashburton, then pumped gas in my car cause the light thingy was on, made a pit stop at the supermarket for eggs and a pregnancy test. Thank God for the self-service checkout , because I thought my face was on fire while scanning and don't think I could've handled human interaction at that point.

Then I went to the Lotto counter and bought a Roses scratchy ticket. While I walked back to the car, I thought to myself that if I won anything out of that ticket, the test would be positive. Guess what?
I'm $5. richer

30km on the road, empty house, pee on a stick, faint second line and a frantic call to the nurse with a deep scotish accent, here I am.

Probably and very likely pregnant.

Today is a rainy autumn day, just a bit chilly. I've been felling weird, my brain keeps sending me messages, my boobs hurt and I tried talking myself into thinking that it was just my period coming, but deep down I know.

So I waited for husband at the door, holding the stick with the faint second line and saw his incredulous smile, saying that he though about it all morning. He says its going to be ok, so does the nurse.

I made an appointment at the doctors on Friday, to be sure and to officially beging this journey.

I don't know why, but I just wanted to document this moment right now, this moment where life changes. And also wanted to say "I'm sorry baby". I'm sorry that this is the world you're coming into, I'm sorry life is hard, I'm sorry I'm a first time mom and certainly due to make plenty of mistakes. May God help us all.

I wish you health to live long enough to make a difference in the world, a sense of humor to carry on when things go south, a beautiful mind to read and be smart and find happy everywhere, a big big heart like your dad's, to help as many people as possible and compassion to try to make sense out of everything.

Hi baby. I look foward to seeing you =)

P.S. Celebrities who are currently pregnant: Kate Middleton, Kim Kardashian, Fergie, Penelope Cruz, Evan Rachel Woods, Halle Berry.

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