What is this?

This is a very long, open and public letter to Baby Bean McGyver, the little boy curently residing in my belly, to be evicted in December, likely during Christmas dinner.

I promise to back everything up in print to read to him during the sleepless nights. Oh, and in case you are wondering, the title did come from a horribly catchy Gwen Stefani song that is always stuck in my jukebox brain.

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Week 31 - Coconut baby

"She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up." A whole week of that stinking song in my brain.

Hey baby!

Could you kindly remove your feet from my right ribcage, please? Thank you. 
Although Hannah assessed today that you're still in the same bum-to-the-moon position, right now it feels like a full horizontal stretch, tiger-in-the-sun style, making my belly morph into the oddest of shapes.

We are doing great, you are growing perfectly and we got our birth plan done today too. Scary stuff, heaps of decisions. Between the birth plan, the capsule/car seat thing and ordering a cake at the supermarket, I'm all out of decision making power. 

So...yesterday was my birthday! Birthdays are great fun, were everyone tells you how amazing you are, you feel loved all around, eat cake with your name on it and get presents. It's a major occasion, you'll love it for sure! Of course, your actual birth day has been more on my mind lately (and everyone else's, who wished great things for you too. People seem to think I'm going to be a good mum. Hum. What do you say?).

Overall, it was a quiet celebration sort of day, because Daddy was working and it fell on a Tuesday which is the most boring day of the week. We got to celebrate together, Daddy and I and The Bump, in Hanmer Springs last week, as you can see in the picture below. Stayed at a great hotel, it was pouring down rain, went to the pools, the sun came out for a bit, went out to dinner, it was lovely and unforgettable, an amazing memory to cherish of a very short and happy babymoon. We saw a couple at the pools with the baby (outside) in the capsule, maybe you'll get lucky and we'll pop over there sooner than we thought!

We'll celebrate again on Friday with our friends - and more cake yay! Pictures to come, I promise.

I'm confident that The Bump has doubled in size in the last few weeks. Each time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, there's a brief moment of doubt, of incredulity. Every time, who is that person? That grown-up lady, growing a tiny human inside? Wasn't I out of school just yesterday, or so it seems?  

I'm 8 months pregnant now, it's the home stretch, the last quarter, and still everyday feels surreal, every single day I put my hands on my squirmy middle and try to comprehend the enormity of you and us, how are going to do this?? It baffles me. Will you by any chance come out holding a big book of instructions?

At 30 years old and more than a little bit scared, I'm cooking inside of me the best gift life has ever given me. Great birthday, if you ask anyone.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013


Hey baby!

You probably realized by now, but your mommy is fueled by music. Every minute of every day, singing, listening, thinking about it. So today I thought I'd shared this one with you; it's called "Heaven", by Bryan Adams.

This song was my favourite for many years, and this album is probably still on my Top 10 of all times because I am a sappy romantic and Mr. Adams, all the way from Canada, has a lot to say about love.

I'm a week away of turning 30 years old, taking stock of life as usual and thinking that back in the old days, when I was a 15-year-old-nerdy-chubby-eyeliner-ponytail and hairband wearing-girl, I never thought this kind of amazement would actually happen.

I assumed that life would take some turns and twists, I'd have a career, maybe a boyfriend, a flat, Sunday lunches with the family, long drives to work, that kind of normalcy, but never presumed it would really be this amazing, this far away from anything I've ever dreamt, this different and scary and exciting.

Right now, this is heaven. This is as close to perfect as one can ever hope for. And I'll tell you what? Your Daddy and I, we are far from perfect people and we have many flaws. We fight sometimes, we misunderstand each other, we struggle with expectations. We don't have a lot of money, we don't own a house, we have many unfulfilled and shattered dreams and not an inch of the glamour my old city-living-self craved. God only knows how I used to long for things I still don't have, things I see now are only made of money.

But this? Being almost 30 and in this weird world, right next to your Daddy everyday with unwavering affection, knowing we are loved by family, we have health to carry on, having you kicking around in my belly, you making me more and more beautiful and happy with each breath of expanding Bump. This is heaven.

Turning the love between two people into a real tiny person. It's a superpower, it's a blessing, it's probably the scariest thing ever, it's the best birthday present I could ever dream of.
I don't mind having to wait for it. Patience, you'll find out soon, it's a quality I possess by bucket-loads.

Heaven. Gratitude. Heaven.

Saturday, 19 October 2013


Hey baby!

I know I told you about your room, but today I took some pictures because someone asked me to, so I thought I could share them here, so people can see how cute your nursery is looking.

It's pretty much done, we may install a shelf at some stage. I didn't want a lot of frilly baby things, just the basics and some homemade decorations, like the pompoms and framed name. The pukeko mobile was a lovely gift from Jennie and the little boy door thing was a gift from Grandma Silvia And you can't see in the pictures, but the walls were all scribbled by Daddy and I with drawings and some good quotes.

My favorite quote is the one that I wrote right above your crib: "Wake up and be awesome". I have no doubt you're going to be awesome! Like Barney Stinson awesome.

So check it out:

I hope you like it, we certainly do!

Friday, 18 October 2013

Week 30 - Cabbage Baby

Hey baby!

Week 30. Oh God. Are you sure?? That "3" in front just makes everything so.....urgent. Like I'll barely have time to blink and you'll be here, blinking back at me with sleepy crying eyes. Bright side: we got you a swing, very cute, plays music and all.

I just came from an appointment with Hannah and she says we are fine, but my blood tests showed a lack of iron which will be corrected with tablets. She measured you (30cm, spot on as it should be) and found out your position. Right now, your head is buried somewhere in my insides and your bum is sticking out the top of my belly, with the legs on the right hand side. It's actually funny, because there's an old saying in Brazil that says that when you're born with "your bum facing the Moon" like that, it means you'll be lucky in life! So keep up, bottoms up!

And also right now, I am wearing short shorts! (last year's shorts still fit perfectly, score!). Which means the temperature outside has gone over 22 degrees. Which means it's so nice and hot! Which means summer is coming and I'm very close to jumping with joy. The cold makes me very uncomfortable (and it's been around since March!) and the arrival of hot sunny days is a cause for celebration! I can't wait to wear long flowing dresses over the growing bump and to have some color on my skin.

You know what else deserves an international holiday? In a couple of days, your grandparents will celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary. 35 years of being together through thick and thin, of raising two children and now with the first grandchild on the way. We are all blessed to be a fruit of their love and devotion to each other and I give thanks everyday to be a part of their love story.

Oh, did I mention you have an email account? Well you do. I know, I have issues. Mostly I have username issues: I could not bear to think that in some 12-odd-years, you were going to end up with a horrible username because your own name was taken. So I got that taken care of, and your email is oliver.m.macario@gmail.com. You can thank me later. (*Friends and relatives are more than welcome to send baby Oliver a note, message or long description of life outside the womb*)!

We have a busy few days ahead and next week Daddy and I are going to Hanmer for a break and to celebrate my own 30th birthday, but we can cover the awesomeness of Mum in a next post, right?

What I'm loving oh so much: Whittaker's Milk Strawberry Chocolate. Not only it's the most delicious chocolate ever, but some of the proceeds of sale go to Breast Cancer research, as October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Fingers crossed they don't stop making it after the month is up.

Friday, 11 October 2013

Week 29 - Squash baby

Hey baby,

First of all, would you please stop kicking me? I love you, but you're squeezing my insides and moving around so much it makes me nauseous. Have you tried eating a meal then having someone stomping on your stomach?! Today I caught myself doing the "evil mom stare" down to my own belly button because you were doing a high-kick - splits - pirouettes routine and it worked, you stopped right away! Mom wins - for 5 minutes. On the bright side, I know you're happy when I eat and when I seat down, not so much when I lift up my shirt or bend forward. I have a new policy of sleeping with The Bump touching your Daddy's back, so you can kick him too. He loves it, carry on.

You also love yoga and I've been doing more and more of it to get in the birth mindset.

I'm considering dropping the fruit/vegetable comparison thing because it's starting to freak me out. Butternut squash for week 29?! It's enormous, there's no way you're that big. (She says, in denial, as her belly button now enters a room a full minute before the boobs arrive.)

We had a good week out here that started with some spring planting of a vegetable garden - no squashes! - then some spring snow! Weather is a funny thing, you'll learn soon, as it rules our lifes in the country.

My latest concern is to pack a hospital bag. Apparently it's a big deal, and from all the lists I got off the internet, I have about 3 items. A lot of shopping still involved, no matter how many items I tick off the essentials list. We got a baby monitor this week, very cute, simple sound-only kind, but enough for our needs (and our budget).  Next, I got my eyes on a swing on TradeMe. And we got presents in the mail yesterday, from a very nice friend in Brazil who wishes nothing but good things to you.

Good things. You know, we wish for nothing but good things to you, but know that you are going to grow up and maybe bad things will happen. Accidents, deaths, the flu, broken heart, stubbed toes. You're not here yet, but I'm already freaking out about those things. What scares me the most is that I'll be so worried and scared all the time that I'll forget about the good things.I'm scared squared.

Would you be ok with a bubble-wrap outfit from birth till, lets say, 18 years old? OK, a little overboard, I get it. I'll have words with your guardian angels, make sure they are on a 4 angels/6h a day roster, just to be safe.

What I'm making: lists. To do, to buy, to make, to send, to clean. My brain is a fuzzy mess, I need all the help I can get.

Friday, 4 October 2013

Week 28 - Lettuce Baby

Hey baby,

To be honest, I tried to find a better size comparison  than an iceberg lettuce, because really? Not only an iceberg lettuce is totally smaller than the cauliflower from week 27, but it's also bland and makes little sense. Couldn't find one, so we're stuck for the week, sorry.

Speaking of stuck, I am stuck with a horrible cold (again!) and feeling miserable.
At about the same time the cold arrived, my friend Jennie arrived to stay for a week, so instead of a boring pregnant friend, she got a boring pregnant sick friend! Not much fun for her, but I really enjoyed her company this week.
After she arrived on Monday, we had a great day in town and barbecue with our group of friends. On Tuesday and Wednesday we did nothing but play with Pepsi and yesterday we visited Kirsty at her house, after pie at the Darfield Bakery. Good pies and good times! I'm a bit sad I had to drop her off at the bus this morning, I miss my girl friends terribly.
Overall a nice week, but I'm feeling like a tractor has run me over with a heavy roller and left dark circles under my eyes.
You, on the other hand, are probably practicing your aerobics routine, with a special interest in  jazz-exercise. This very minute, my belly looks like there's a tsunami going on inside and trying to escape.

So after all this excitement, I need a nap, so we'll keep it short and sweet.

What I'm eating and you're enjoying very much: roast chicken and creamy polenta, lemon poppy seed cake, chicken bacon and cheese pie, lots and lots of manuka honey.