What is this?

This is a very long, open and public letter to Baby Bean McGyver, the little boy curently residing in my belly, to be evicted in December, likely during Christmas dinner.

I promise to back everything up in print to read to him during the sleepless nights. Oh, and in case you are wondering, the title did come from a horribly catchy Gwen Stefani song that is always stuck in my jukebox brain.

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing. Thanks for stopping by!

Saturday, 29 June 2013

Nectarine baby - Week 14

Hey baby!

This is you!! How cool is that?
The scan was wonderful, you were wiggling around like crazy and we got to hear your heartbeat loud and clear. Everything is very much ok and normal and right now your are the size of a nectarine.

And good news: you have a cot! We bought a pretty white cot for you and it's all ready and waiting. A few other things too. You got your first gift: Grandma Silvia sent you from Brazil a blanket and a pair of cute yellow booties so your feet don't get cold.

Speaking of which, you are missing out on two things happening in Brazil right now: Festa Junina, which are a great opportunity to eat a lot, act silly and wear funny clothes; and a revolution! People over there are fighting the government so you can have a better future without the nasty bits like corruption and such.

Also, Kim Kardashian had her baby and named her North West. Chill out, we are not naming you after a direction. Or One Direction. We have a few names picked out, but first we need to find out if you are boy or girl.

So what's it gonna be?

I also found out a couple of other friends whom I love are pregnant too, so you are going to have a lot of friends to play with!

All and all, we are doing ok, you and I. There's a hint of belly showing, just enough to make me look fat, not enough to make me look pregnant yet. You may be born a cow, from all the salt I'm craving. And also, all the water I'm drinking. Maybe you want to be in the sea?? I think we need a beach vacation to get away from this bliming freezing cold. Let's work on that, shall we?

"I think of you every morning" Week 11

Hi bean!

It's week 11 now and you are the size of a fig. I have not gain a single gram of weight (and lost 2kg), for which I'm most grateful and also a bit paranoid. I guess the weight will come eventually, once you start eating and growing and making my belly grow too.

I haven't written in a while because we were moving! Our friends helped us with the move and that was awesome, because nobody would let me carry anything! We are now in a new house, bigger, and you have your own designated room. I've been dreaming about it now: decorating the nursery, where to put your things, where you'll sleep, where we won't, where you'll spill grape juice, where we'll take heaps of pictures,where we'll play.
As of today you own: one box of diapers and one pack of  baby wipes. One rattle. One pair of gumboots. One set of mittens and a cap. A comb and brush set. Not a lot, really, but I promise there will be heaps of stuff for you once you get here! How do you feel about grey and yellow?

I can't wait for this wednesday, when we get to see you again in a scan. I hope you are ok and enjoying the accomodation, because I'm all good so far, no more nausea, no nothing. Face skin is a bit ugly and bumpy, but that I can handle.

We are telling more people about you now and everybody seems so genuinely happy for us, it's an amazing experience. This week we'll post on facebook for everybody to see and I'm looking forward to it! I even took an amazing photo for the announcement, with the family of gumboots, it so cute.

Oh, that title is from a song I was just listening to, called Sentimental reasons. I'm sure you'll hear it at least once. I'll play it for you, I promise. 

Just in case you were wondering, Kim Kardashian is having a girl. Karma, I guess. Lets hope she takes better care of her baby than her mama did of her.

Week 8, but not.

Hey baby.

We now have a picture of you! I've been in the hospital for scan and your are actually 5 weeks and 4 days, not 8 weeks as I previously thought. Your pic is already up in our fridge. Your look like a white blob, but there's lots of room for improvement.

We've told my brother, the inlaws and one sister in law this week and it was glorious! I'm dying to tell everyone about you, but this is one time where it pays to be extra cautious, I guess.

We bought you a blue pair of gumboots, so I can take a pretty picture for your announcement.
Also big news this week: we met Hannah, my lovely midwife. She is young and blonde and very nice and asked a ton of questions to make sure we are good to go. She also gave me a ton of information and even a sample of baby wipes and baby shampoo! I was a little overwhelmed when we left the office, but guess it's all good now. There's not a lot to do at this point, except to take my folic acid and iodine pills and eat very healthy.
And I'm sorry about all the ham I was eating, apparently that's a no-no =(

This weekend Daddy and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and this has been the best gift ever. We went out for dinner and to the movies yesterday, "Iron Man 3". I'm considering the name Jarvis now.

It makes me smile to see Daddy so desperate to buy a cot, a stroller and a new "safe" car!

If everything else in this weird world fails you, please remember that this little family is made with love. Daddy and I love each other in ways that we can barely explain, and all this love have made you. So you can rest assure, if everything goes under, you are loved, even right now, when you but a bunch of cells patched together.

7 weeks and 1 day

Hey baby!

We've been calling you Bean. We hope to come up with a better name, but if we don't, well, better start getting used to it.

This Sunday is Mother's Day and I am super excited even though I can't tell anyone I'm a mom yet. My mom and Dad, who shall be named Grandma and Grandpa from now on, they sent me a lovely gift in the form a silver pram charm for my Pandora bracelet. If you Daddy forgets to get something even after the warning, there will be trouble. (BTW, there was trouble.)

7 weeks baby! Can we speed this thing up a bit?? I have no symptoms, except for some poorly timed nausea. Its weird, because I want to have symptoms! I want to make sure you are in there. I wish I could go for a scan every day. I need to tell people! I told Ana and she is super happy. Apparentely the aforementioned Grandma and Grandpa already told half the population of Brazil.

Yesterday we bought our first baby items: a brush and comb set, and a beanie and mittens set. So your hair is all good. Priorities, right?? But to be fair, we did spend a lot of time talking to a nice lady at Farmers Kids, who explained all the details about car seats, capsules, strollers (which I will stop calling trolleys, I swear), and all this new world of information we had no clue about.

Its insane all the things I think about now.  About how you are going to feed and sleep. How am I going to ever sleep again with all the worrying in my head. How life is going to be. If we should get a pacifier or not. Should I be taking fluoride. What on earth is swaddling and should I be learning it. But mainly, what kind of person you are going to be and what can we do right now to make sure your going down the right tracks in life. How every single word coming out of my mouth will have impact on you.

Tell you what baby, that's some scary stuff right there. Thank God we have 33 more weeks to obsess over it, than its game time.

Happy Mothers Day to me and to my amazing mom! =)

Day 1

Hi baby.

Today is Friday 19th and things are going crazy in the USA with all this bombing and stuff, you don't even want to hear it. On a bright side, gay marriage was made legal here in NZ.

And speaking of going crazy...I went to the doctors today. After 3 positive tests at home and one in the office, Pamela the lovely scotish nurse announced that yes, I am very much pregnant. I don't believe her and am waiting for the blood test from all the blood I had drawn today. We talked a lot and she's pregnant too, first time. She gave the number for a midwife in Ashburton, Hannah, and we talked on the phone too and made an appointment for next Friday. I still don't know when the ultrasound is happening, but am looking forward to it, as I have no memory and need help with dating - as in how far along are you, not as in meeting new people. We predict a spring/summer baby, before Christmas maybe.

It was intense and emotional and I am tired from feeling so much. After the appointment where she told me to eat healthy and drink lots of water, I bough a chocolate cake, but I swear it's almost intact. Sort of.

All I can think of right now is telling people, telling my mom, people's reactions. I might have to hide under a rock for a few weeks, to keep me from blurting out this secret growing inside of me.

Went to the gym tonight and felt funny. I feel funny 24/7 now. All I want to do is curl up and not move, because I am afraid anything will hurt me and you. So far, I am almost always afraid.

Husband is overjoyed, over the moon, overcome with happiness. It fills my heart to see him so happy, writing names on the board and talking about cribs and car seats.

After a talk with bff today, I am calmer and happier, but still overwhelmed. Can't wait to be over the moon instead of overwhelmed. We'll get there. There's time. Right?

Songs I am listening to: Justin Timberlake "Suit and Tie", Bruno Mars "When I was your man", Fun. "Carry on", Pink "Just give me a reason", Macklemore "Same love".

Marco Zero

Hey baby.

Today is Wednesday, April 17 2013, 1.30pm. Today  I went on a job interview at Columbus Coffee in Ashburton, then pumped gas in my car cause the light thingy was on, made a pit stop at the supermarket for eggs and a pregnancy test. Thank God for the self-service checkout , because I thought my face was on fire while scanning and don't think I could've handled human interaction at that point.

Then I went to the Lotto counter and bought a Roses scratchy ticket. While I walked back to the car, I thought to myself that if I won anything out of that ticket, the test would be positive. Guess what?
I'm $5. richer

30km on the road, empty house, pee on a stick, faint second line and a frantic call to the nurse with a deep scotish accent, here I am.

Probably and very likely pregnant.

Today is a rainy autumn day, just a bit chilly. I've been felling weird, my brain keeps sending me messages, my boobs hurt and I tried talking myself into thinking that it was just my period coming, but deep down I know.

So I waited for husband at the door, holding the stick with the faint second line and saw his incredulous smile, saying that he though about it all morning. He says its going to be ok, so does the nurse.

I made an appointment at the doctors on Friday, to be sure and to officially beging this journey.

I don't know why, but I just wanted to document this moment right now, this moment where life changes. And also wanted to say "I'm sorry baby". I'm sorry that this is the world you're coming into, I'm sorry life is hard, I'm sorry I'm a first time mom and certainly due to make plenty of mistakes. May God help us all.

I wish you health to live long enough to make a difference in the world, a sense of humor to carry on when things go south, a beautiful mind to read and be smart and find happy everywhere, a big big heart like your dad's, to help as many people as possible and compassion to try to make sense out of everything.

Hi baby. I look foward to seeing you =)

P.S. Celebrities who are currently pregnant: Kate Middleton, Kim Kardashian, Fergie, Penelope Cruz, Evan Rachel Woods, Halle Berry.