Day 1

Hi baby.

Today is Friday 19th and things are going crazy in the USA with all this bombing and stuff, you don't even want to hear it. On a bright side, gay marriage was made legal here in NZ.

And speaking of going crazy...I went to the doctors today. After 3 positive tests at home and one in the office, Pamela the lovely scotish nurse announced that yes, I am very much pregnant. I don't believe her and am waiting for the blood test from all the blood I had drawn today. We talked a lot and she's pregnant too, first time. She gave the number for a midwife in Ashburton, Hannah, and we talked on the phone too and made an appointment for next Friday. I still don't know when the ultrasound is happening, but am looking forward to it, as I have no memory and need help with dating - as in how far along are you, not as in meeting new people. We predict a spring/summer baby, before Christmas maybe.

It was intense and emotional and I am tired from feeling so much. After the appointment where she told me to eat healthy and drink lots of water, I bough a chocolate cake, but I swear it's almost intact. Sort of.

All I can think of right now is telling people, telling my mom, people's reactions. I might have to hide under a rock for a few weeks, to keep me from blurting out this secret growing inside of me.

Went to the gym tonight and felt funny. I feel funny 24/7 now. All I want to do is curl up and not move, because I am afraid anything will hurt me and you. So far, I am almost always afraid.

Husband is overjoyed, over the moon, overcome with happiness. It fills my heart to see him so happy, writing names on the board and talking about cribs and car seats.

After a talk with bff today, I am calmer and happier, but still overwhelmed. Can't wait to be over the moon instead of overwhelmed. We'll get there. There's time. Right?



Songs I am listening to: Justin Timberlake "Suit and Tie", Bruno Mars "When I was your man", Fun. "Carry on", Pink "Just give me a reason", Macklemore "Same love".